Although we profoundly misunderstand the common usage of the word, ‘surrender’ it is more accurately seen as a great strength and comes when we let go of trying to attain the impossible.
Most of us were raised and live in a culture that emphasizes the ideals of independence and control. The general idea is that we are on our own and we don’t need any help from anyone else, and if we are really successful it’s because we are in complete control and did it ourself. However, true lasting success comes only with surrender, which is the opposite of control. We cannot accomplish anything truly great on our own, without any help, and the idea that we can is a profoundly disempowering illusion that causes most of us a great deal of suffering. Surrender comes when we see that illusion and let go of trying to attain the impossible. Surrender can then be seen as a great strength rather than the disabling weakness it truly is.
Even small moments of surrender are powerful indicators of how differently our lives could be if we would only let go…let go of the idea of separation. We’ve all had the experience of extending huge amounts of effort and energy to reach a particular goal, say joy in marriage with a partner we love, only to realize that we can’t make it happen after all. At the moment we truly let go, realizing that we need to ask for help or simply release our agenda entirely, a profound feeling of relief rushes in. This warm, open sensation is the essence of surrender. If we didn’t feel that – we didn’t really let go.
It’s never too late to let go, even of things in the past that didn’t work out the way we wanted them to, because surrender is always an option in every moment of our lives in which we are present to that moment, not intractably stuck in some past moment of pain and suffering.
When we finally do surrender, our goals actually become possible, because the act of surrender is, in essence, asking for the help we need. This help may come in the form of other human beings or unseen divine help. It may also come in the form of shifting circumstances, the small unceasing miracles that I call grace.
Surrender is a choice. It’s not a choice to believe the past didn’t happen. It’s a choice to let the past be what it is, past and to welcome with an open, loving heart and mind, the limitless possibility of the present and a most extraordinary, loving future. From the place of surrender, all is possible. From the pace of holding on, only the painful past will be your partner.
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